If you’ve had IBD for any length of time, I’d be willing to bet you’ve had an embarrassing story or two to share. I know I sure do. And in today’s post, I’d like to share one such embarrassing story and explain how it actually deepened my friendships and my support system.
Why I Want to Share This Embarrassing Story
A small part of me wants to keep this story a secret—to tell just my closest friends and let only them get a kick out of this laughable misfortune. But the purpose of this blog is to find the comical and share the unfiltered truth. Plus, I want to prove that an embarrassing IBD story isn’t the end of the world—because if you haven’t had one yet, you will.
So I invite you to sit back, grab a cup of coffee, and get a laugh out of my comical misadventure.
My Mental State on the Morning of this Embarrassing Story
It was a sunny day in November 2014, and I had recently been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. During this time, I was still in the process of accepting my “new normal” while simultaneously consuming high dosages of prednisone each day to keep my inflammation and pain under control.
Since my symptoms were still sometimes unpredictable, some days the pain and urgency still overpowered the prednisone. Also, due to prednisone’s strong chemical side effects, I was struggling with chronic fatigue and heightened emotions, so truthfully, I really didn’t feel like going outside of my room this day.
But friends always seem to know when to step in and encourage you to do something that’s good for you.
And on this crisp autumn morning, my new friend and roommate, Lauren, suggested we get out and take a trip to Walmart to pick up some decorations for our on-campus apartment. I reluctantly agreed.
Once inside the store, Lauren ventured one way and I went another. I meandered to the journal and stationery aisle. If you don’t know this about me, I am obsessed with journals. Leather-bound, recycled wood, bold and inspiring designs, minimalist…the list is never-ending. As a writer, I just can’t stop buying them!
The Familiar IBD Cramps
I perused the array of journals lost in my own world. But what snapped me back into reality was an all-too-familiar searing pain ripping through my insides.
My muscle memory immediately took over as my feet located the quickest way out of the aisle, and my eyes scanned the borders of the building desperately searching for the bathroom. Neither it nor Lauren was anywhere in sight.
I tried to control my body. Tried to nonchalantly gaze around the store for the large bathroom sign. But, dang, this pain was intense and I could feel my breakfast slipping through every part of my digestive tract. Hold on there, buddy.
A few frantic moments went by, and I could no longer hold my casual composure. I began to panic.
The food was hightailing it toward my bum like the Tasmanian devil itself.
Searching for a Restroom
My colon like an active volcano, I knew my time was limited. I felt my face flush with a clammy sweat, something that happened every time I got these terrible cramps.
Now speed-walking around, I found an employee and practically ran up to her asking for directions to the bathroom. She gave me guidance, and I barreled it in that direction.
Though I must admit, I could only walk so fast. Let’s just say, there’s a certain technique to walking when your colon is plotting against you. So I waddled with a reckoning force.
But good news! The employee’s directions were correct and I happily scampered toward the overhead bathroom sign with the finish line in front of me.
Just an aisle-length left to go.
Door handle in my line of sight.
My mind was starting to celebrate already.
But then IT happened. You already know.
Even through clenched cheeks. Even through gritted teeth.
I sharted myself.
Yep. I felt a warm liquid on my bum. Of course, I had to be wearing my yoga pants that day! The feeling of dread raged throughout my body, and I sensed hot blood racing toward my face in embarrassment. So kicking it into high gear, I literally ran the rest of the way. Luckily, my purse had a long handle, so I was able to maneuver it to cover my butt as I sprinted.
In the Safety of the Bathroom Stall
Finding the first open stall, I slammed the door shut, thankful for the privacy but unsure what to do next.
I immediately texted Lauren asking her to quickly go buy the cheapest underwear and sweatpants she could find and bring them to me, along with a plastic bag.
In no time, Lauren’s voice echoed in the bathroom and I raised my hand over the stall to give her my location.
I was embarrassed.
I was laughing.
She was laughing.
I dressed myself in my new neon pink polka-dot underwear and sweatpants that were both too baggy and too short. I threw my undies away and shoved my yoga pants in the plastic bag, believing they could be salvaged. (They were).
And then we left.
No way was I going to continue to browse the store with a bag full of soiled yoga pants and neon pink peepin’ through gray sweats. We left without purchasing what we came in for. But we left with something even better: A genuine “bond-with-your-roommate quick” outing. We overrode several levels of friendship that day 🙂
Two Important Lessons I Learned from This Experience
This incident at Walmart is—what I like to call—my WalShart story: A tragic misadventure turned epiphany that deepened my optimistic worldview.
As someone who always strives to find the silver lining, there were a couple things I took away from this unexpected adventure that I hope inspire you along your journey.
1. Finding the silver lining is a choice
While waiting for Lauren in the stall, I texted my high school friend Victoria about what had just happened. (We often shared our embarrassing moments with each other). I ended the text by saying, “This disease is 99% sucky and 1% hilarious!”
Later, it occurred to me how symbolic this phrase was to my emotional IBD journey. Choosing to find the thin silver lining and focus on the small percentage of good that came from this experience was a deliberate choice.
Because sharting in public is not enjoyable. In fact, finding the silver lining and laughing at such instances might feel like the last thing you want to do in the moment. But choosing to find that silver lining and deciding to be optimistic will not only change the way you see yourself, it’ll alter the way you view the world.
2. Communication and vulnerability deepen your relationships & support system
This incident significantly deepened my appreciation for my friends and my support group.
Lauren was there for me, supported me, laughed with me, and was willing to stand in line purchasing the most outlandish undies and sweats to give to her friend in need.
Victoria listened to my story and provided supplemental giggles and unconditional encouragement.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to surround yourself with friends—especially at the beginning of your disease journey when you’re still getting used to your meds and this new normal.
Focus on strengthening your friendships with those who you can be excruciatingly open, honest, and vulnerable with.
I think you will also find that your friends who reply to your vulnerable texts and who are willing to go out of their way to buy you fresh underwear are the truest.
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