If you live with chronic fatigue, has it increased your introvertism or decreased your extrovertism? As an introvert myself, my fatigue has deeply intensified my introvertism over the years.
In this blog post, I cover this interesting relationship, explain the difference between my physical and mental fatigue, and share my all-time favorite self-care activities that help me recharge.
How Chronic Fatigue Intensified My Introvertism
When I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in 2014, the last thing I thought it would impact was my introvertism.
The definition of an introvert is someone who re-energizes by being alone, compared to extroverts who re-energize by interacting with others. Introverts aren’t necessarily shy or awkward or dislike public speaking; we simply become drained more quickly engaging with people.
Over the years as my chronic fatigue has intensified, I’ve found myself becoming even more introverted in the sense that I’m now extremely protective of my energy and alone time.
For example, I ideally need at least several days’ warning to schedule plans (back when we could go out), set up Facetime dates, and plan out-of-the-ordinary errands or doctor appointments that require higher amounts of social interaction.
I feel like everything I do now I do through the lens of “how much energy will this require?” and “what can I do to protect my energy?” It’s not really something I’m proud of (it oftentimes makes me feel like I’m being selfish or greedy) but it’s something I know I need to do to protect my health.
I know if I don’t get enough sleep, my immune system will throw in the towel and I’ll get sick.
If I overpopulate my schedule and get really stressed, that can lead to a flare.
If I spend too much energy socializing, I won’t have the mental capacity to focus on work or my writing projects—things that need to get done.
A Game of Give and Take
This chronic illness and fatigue have turned my life into a balancing act. I feel like I always need to be three steps ahead so I can give up one thing for another, all for the good of my health.
Thankfully, over years, I’ve learned how to walk on the eggshells my chronic illness throws in my path so that I can avoid stress-related flares and the type of exhaustion that seems to make even my bones feel sore. It’s like my chronic illness and fatigue have exponentially increased the rate at which my mental battery depletes.
Mental Fatigue vs Physical Fatigue
What’s interesting is that, for me, my fatigue oftentimes affects my mental energy more than my physical energy.
For some people with IBD, completing physical tasks like showering, brushing teeth, and doing laundry use a good chunk of that day’s energy.
My fatigue does affect my physical strength especially (when it comes to exercise!) but it more so impacts my mental capacity, such as creativity, word retrieval, critical thinking, and other cerebral tasks. Thankfully, this doesn’t happen every day, but on the days I’m this mentally exhausted, it takes me longer to respond to emails, comments, and DMs.
So, due to my introvertism (becoming tired in social interactions), I need to decide if I have enough energy to spend on replying to an email or if I should rest instead.
I wish it didn’t come to this. I wish I had endless energy I could spend however I want each day. But I need to follow the rules that my introvertism and fatigue have created for me.
My Favorite Self-Care Activities
Some ways I savor and replenish my energy include:
- Sleeping
- Journaling
- Reading
- Sitting outside
- Walking in nature
- Listening to music
- Cuddling with my cat, Newbert
- Stretching
- Taking a hot bath
Being an introvert with chronic illness has taught me to become very attuned with my body. Even though it’s tough, I’m learning to be grateful for this because I now recognize how it’s empowering me to make decisions that keep me as healthy as I can be.
Missed some Crohn’s and Colitis Awareness Week posts? Catch up here!
Read Day 1: On Feeling Invisible
Read Day 2: Fatigue and Productivity
Read Day 3: Three Types of Chronic Illness Acceptance
Read Day 4: Personality Type and Self-Advocacy
Read Day 5: Remission Guilt
Read Day 7: The Power of Community